we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
