sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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