Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
