I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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