Betty ford says i'm here all night
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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