Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
