there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
