she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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