She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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