When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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