Taylor Swift is so right about you.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
