Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
