Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
