I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
