I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
