If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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