Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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