not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
