Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Everything about him screamed your future.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
