He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
