the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
How's work?
Spinning.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Im part way to drunk.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
