he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
its not stalking. its research.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
