Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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