So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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