I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
