we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well I just put wine in my tea
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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