You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
