I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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