No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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