I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
