So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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