I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
