even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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