how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
