No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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