need another drink. this is the easiest way
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
