I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
