I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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