It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
