3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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