i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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