scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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