Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
