OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
