Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Too much gin, very little bucket
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
