what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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