Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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