this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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