VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I enjoy the company of your penis
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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