is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
