my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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