Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
