I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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